With 2009 just around the corner, I have been reflecting on goals of the past, the present and the future. What do I want to accomplish? What do I want to change? What is important for me to accomplish?
I am entering 2009 stronger, lighter, motivated and determined to reach my health goals. How I will exit the year will be determined. I have a choice to make. I can choice the familiar path, “The Path of the Past” or I can continue on my new path which I refer to as “The Path of Awareness”.
Point is-I have a choice to make. I can only change my life, and I can only choose the life I want to live. I can go through life unhealthy, unhappy or I can choose to work hard and to make changes to have the life I want. I want to be healthy; I want to be a better version of “Me”. So here is my official 2009 Wish List! *Drum roll please*
2009 Wish List!
1. Put my health as my TOP priority.
2. Move more! Find exercises that I will enjoy, and do them!
3. Stay SMOKE FREE!
4. Read more!
5. Learn/try Meditation as a way to reduce stress and to stay focused.
6. Go to Europe!!! Not letting my weight interfere with life any longer. Living the life I imagined.
7. Go to Weight Watchers meetings, every week.
8. Learn to jump back on the path and stay focus. View setbacks as lessons, and roadblocks as a tool to show me my determination of my goal. “Never Never Never, Give up”
9. Try new things, be more adventurous in activity and life. Buy a bike this summer, find new activities to enjoy to keep myself interested.
10. Continue to figure out “Me”. I am much more in tune with myself, and understand myself better then I have ever had in my life. Continue with getting to know me, and figuring out my path.
Monday, December 29, 2008
Sunday, December 28, 2008
Like it or Not, 2009 Will be Here!
Where did 2008 go? Hard to believe it is that time of the year already, and 2009 will be here, like it or not! Thought I would take the time to reflect on 2008, and to make new goals for the year ahead. I love to write things down, and to reinvent myself, seems like I have been doing a lot of reinventing lately. So what did I do for my mind, body and soul last year?
2008: The Year of Awareness
I started the new year with great hopes for 2008. Hopes for change, hopes to reinvent myself. Some goals I set in time frames, others where unplanned and happened along the way. Needless to say some goals where met, while others never were no more then a thought. One major thing I noticed going into 2008-I was not happy. I was very unhappy actually. I call 2008 "The Year of Awareness", and really it was a life changing year.
First off, change didn't occur suddenly. Change took months to realize that A)I wasn't happy B) I need to find out what is making me so unhappy. C) Change it!.
I realized just how unhappy I was with myself, and my health. I started 2008 depressed, obese, a smoker, and unhappy with many areas in my life including: My self esteem, my health, my career.
In February 2008, I made "another" attempt at quitting smoking. I quit smoking early February, and found it quite easy using the prescription drug Champix. It made quitting quite comfortable, and eased the symptoms of withdrawal to nearly nothing-amazing really. However like any pill, I can push them, but I have troubles taking them-as well as taking them as prescribed! It's what us Nurses call our patients "Non-Compliant" lol.
I managed to stay smoke free for about 6-7 months. While on Champix, my anxiety seemed to be at bay, I was able to stay in control, and make healthier choices. However off the drug, and possibly due to abruptly stopping, my anxiety got worse. I struggled with food vs smoking which was quite difficult. Seemed like I was in a constant battle to control eating or smoking. I started and stopped smoking several more times during the summer and fall months, and in November I stopped again completely.
Another aspect that changed was my job and my schedule. I am used to working around the clock, and any day of the week-however after a few years at my current job, I was stressed unhappy and ready for a change. I applied for several jobs, in different departments. I decided to go with a permanent position in Mental Health, but as a "Float Nurse” with a much better schedule. Now I work 2 days, 2 nights and 5 off. I find the switch from days to nights doable, and better for my sleep schedule and well being. I am much happier in my current position, although it changed slightly lol, but much happier with my new schedule.
In regards to my health, it wasn't until June 2008 that I really started to make significant mental changes. I started to change the way I was thinking. I started this blog, went to counseling, to read books regarding my emotional and mental health, joined Weight Watchers. I learned to ask for help. I became more aware of what I was doing to myself, as I had been avoiding for so long. I started to put my energies into more positive aspects of my life: Changing myself emotionally and physically.
I have ended 2008 and feel much more confident then when I began 2008. Change takes time, and time allows us to reflect. I constantly reflect. I have to find what will work for me. Sometimes road blocks get in the way, of staying on track. Road blocks are hidden lessons for us. They show us how determined we are to achieve our goals. They are lessons. Road blocks give us choices: Either we give up, or we become more determined.
I entered 2008 feeling lost, sad, unmotivated, and unhealthy. I am leaving 2008 lighter, healthier, smoke free and motivated. Can I ask for a better start for 2009?
2008: The Year of Awareness
I started the new year with great hopes for 2008. Hopes for change, hopes to reinvent myself. Some goals I set in time frames, others where unplanned and happened along the way. Needless to say some goals where met, while others never were no more then a thought. One major thing I noticed going into 2008-I was not happy. I was very unhappy actually. I call 2008 "The Year of Awareness", and really it was a life changing year.
First off, change didn't occur suddenly. Change took months to realize that A)I wasn't happy B) I need to find out what is making me so unhappy. C) Change it!.
I realized just how unhappy I was with myself, and my health. I started 2008 depressed, obese, a smoker, and unhappy with many areas in my life including: My self esteem, my health, my career.
In February 2008, I made "another" attempt at quitting smoking. I quit smoking early February, and found it quite easy using the prescription drug Champix. It made quitting quite comfortable, and eased the symptoms of withdrawal to nearly nothing-amazing really. However like any pill, I can push them, but I have troubles taking them-as well as taking them as prescribed! It's what us Nurses call our patients "Non-Compliant" lol.
I managed to stay smoke free for about 6-7 months. While on Champix, my anxiety seemed to be at bay, I was able to stay in control, and make healthier choices. However off the drug, and possibly due to abruptly stopping, my anxiety got worse. I struggled with food vs smoking which was quite difficult. Seemed like I was in a constant battle to control eating or smoking. I started and stopped smoking several more times during the summer and fall months, and in November I stopped again completely.
Another aspect that changed was my job and my schedule. I am used to working around the clock, and any day of the week-however after a few years at my current job, I was stressed unhappy and ready for a change. I applied for several jobs, in different departments. I decided to go with a permanent position in Mental Health, but as a "Float Nurse” with a much better schedule. Now I work 2 days, 2 nights and 5 off. I find the switch from days to nights doable, and better for my sleep schedule and well being. I am much happier in my current position, although it changed slightly lol, but much happier with my new schedule.
In regards to my health, it wasn't until June 2008 that I really started to make significant mental changes. I started to change the way I was thinking. I started this blog, went to counseling, to read books regarding my emotional and mental health, joined Weight Watchers. I learned to ask for help. I became more aware of what I was doing to myself, as I had been avoiding for so long. I started to put my energies into more positive aspects of my life: Changing myself emotionally and physically.
I have ended 2008 and feel much more confident then when I began 2008. Change takes time, and time allows us to reflect. I constantly reflect. I have to find what will work for me. Sometimes road blocks get in the way, of staying on track. Road blocks are hidden lessons for us. They show us how determined we are to achieve our goals. They are lessons. Road blocks give us choices: Either we give up, or we become more determined.
I entered 2008 feeling lost, sad, unmotivated, and unhealthy. I am leaving 2008 lighter, healthier, smoke free and motivated. Can I ask for a better start for 2009?
Saturday, December 20, 2008
Staying Motivated During the Holidays!
Well, it's that time of year again-Christmas. As much as I am looking forward to spend time with my family and friends, I know I have to prepare to get myself through this, the sweets that is.
Here's a confession: I had chocolate last night, 6 Lindor chocolates and a chocolate bar the day before. Sigh. I could beat myself up about it, but I won't, I know it could have been much much worse!! Typically around this time of year, there are tempting foods EVERYWHERE, and there are decisions to make. I can remember in past years how easy it was to cope with the stress and anxiety of the holidays, and how I would binge myself though them.
Typically this is what happened. I would purchase chocolate for loved ones and purchase chocolate/sweets for myself, and eat both. I remember having to buy the same chocolate or a different treat several times over because Christmas couldn't arrive soon enough. I would even go to great lengths of wrapping the chocolate, and at times, would open the "present" and eat it. It is deffinately a eye opener reading this, and admiting it.
I made it through Halloween safely minus a few mini chocolates. I had a game plan. I didn't buy ANY chocolate this year, despite how great it is to see chocolate go on sale 50% off. Sigh. Part of the problem for me at Christmas, is purchasing loved ones gifts of food. I told myself I wasn't going to buy ANY gifts of food this year, and caved when i saw Lindor chocolates on for 50% off at Homesence. That should be a crime itself!
I must say however, in the last 2 months, I can probably count on my one hand the amount of chocolate I have consumed. My cravings for junk food/sweets have diminished since I've started to eat healthy, and that is great! I might still be a chocolate-o-holic underneath, but I know I have more self control then I ever have had in my life-which is quite powerful.
As I sit here and type this, I can see that bag of Lindor chocolates-which reminds me of many boxes of "Christmas chocolates" that I would have eaten. Makes me laugh-really. I can see how I have changed many aspects of my eating, and then I can see how old habits can creep up. Coupled with "my time of the month" I am in a VERY vulnerable time period here!
There will be many more times in my life where I will be faced with decisions, and temptations. I am definitely a rookie when it comes to permanent weight loss, I have so much to learn yet. So when I stare at that bag of Lindor chocolates, I have a decision to make. Do I want to stay in the past?...or...Do I want to change for the future?
I choose the future.
Here's a confession: I had chocolate last night, 6 Lindor chocolates and a chocolate bar the day before. Sigh. I could beat myself up about it, but I won't, I know it could have been much much worse!! Typically around this time of year, there are tempting foods EVERYWHERE, and there are decisions to make. I can remember in past years how easy it was to cope with the stress and anxiety of the holidays, and how I would binge myself though them.
Typically this is what happened. I would purchase chocolate for loved ones and purchase chocolate/sweets for myself, and eat both. I remember having to buy the same chocolate or a different treat several times over because Christmas couldn't arrive soon enough. I would even go to great lengths of wrapping the chocolate, and at times, would open the "present" and eat it. It is deffinately a eye opener reading this, and admiting it.
I made it through Halloween safely minus a few mini chocolates. I had a game plan. I didn't buy ANY chocolate this year, despite how great it is to see chocolate go on sale 50% off. Sigh. Part of the problem for me at Christmas, is purchasing loved ones gifts of food. I told myself I wasn't going to buy ANY gifts of food this year, and caved when i saw Lindor chocolates on for 50% off at Homesence. That should be a crime itself!
I must say however, in the last 2 months, I can probably count on my one hand the amount of chocolate I have consumed. My cravings for junk food/sweets have diminished since I've started to eat healthy, and that is great! I might still be a chocolate-o-holic underneath, but I know I have more self control then I ever have had in my life-which is quite powerful.
As I sit here and type this, I can see that bag of Lindor chocolates-which reminds me of many boxes of "Christmas chocolates" that I would have eaten. Makes me laugh-really. I can see how I have changed many aspects of my eating, and then I can see how old habits can creep up. Coupled with "my time of the month" I am in a VERY vulnerable time period here!
There will be many more times in my life where I will be faced with decisions, and temptations. I am definitely a rookie when it comes to permanent weight loss, I have so much to learn yet. So when I stare at that bag of Lindor chocolates, I have a decision to make. Do I want to stay in the past?...or...Do I want to change for the future?
I choose the future.
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