Like it or Not, 2009 Will be Here!

Where did 2008 go? Hard to believe it is that time of the year already, and 2009 will be here, like it or not! Thought I would take the time to reflect on 2008, and to make new goals for the year ahead. I love to write things down, and to reinvent myself, seems like I have been doing a lot of reinventing lately. So what did I do for my mind, body and soul last year?

2008: The Year of Awareness

I started the new year with great hopes for 2008. Hopes for change, hopes to reinvent myself. Some goals I set in time frames, others where unplanned and happened along the way. Needless to say some goals where met, while others never were no more then a thought. One major thing I noticed going into 2008-I was not happy. I was very unhappy actually. I call 2008 "The Year of Awareness", and really it was a life changing year.

First off, change didn't occur suddenly. Change took months to realize that A)I wasn't happy B) I need to find out what is making me so unhappy. C) Change it!.

I realized just how unhappy I was with myself, and my health. I started 2008 depressed, obese, a smoker, and unhappy with many areas in my life including: My self esteem, my health, my career.

In February 2008, I made "another" attempt at quitting smoking. I quit smoking early February, and found it quite easy using the prescription drug Champix. It made quitting quite comfortable, and eased the symptoms of withdrawal to nearly nothing-amazing really. However like any pill, I can push them, but I have troubles taking them-as well as taking them as prescribed! It's what us Nurses call our patients "Non-Compliant" lol.

I managed to stay smoke free for about 6-7 months. While on Champix, my anxiety seemed to be at bay, I was able to stay in control, and make healthier choices. However off the drug, and possibly due to abruptly stopping, my anxiety got worse. I struggled with food vs smoking which was quite difficult. Seemed like I was in a constant battle to control eating or smoking. I started and stopped smoking several more times during the summer and fall months, and in November I stopped again completely.

Another aspect that changed was my job and my schedule. I am used to working around the clock, and any day of the week-however after a few years at my current job, I was stressed unhappy and ready for a change. I applied for several jobs, in different departments. I decided to go with a permanent position in Mental Health, but as a "Float Nurse” with a much better schedule. Now I work 2 days, 2 nights and 5 off. I find the switch from days to nights doable, and better for my sleep schedule and well being. I am much happier in my current position, although it changed slightly lol, but much happier with my new schedule.

In regards to my health, it wasn't until June 2008 that I really started to make significant mental changes. I started to change the way I was thinking. I started this blog, went to counseling, to read books regarding my emotional and mental health, joined Weight Watchers. I learned to ask for help. I became more aware of what I was doing to myself, as I had been avoiding for so long. I started to put my energies into more positive aspects of my life: Changing myself emotionally and physically.

I have ended 2008 and feel much more confident then when I began 2008. Change takes time, and time allows us to reflect. I constantly reflect. I have to find what will work for me. Sometimes road blocks get in the way, of staying on track. Road blocks are hidden lessons for us. They show us how determined we are to achieve our goals. They are lessons. Road blocks give us choices: Either we give up, or we become more determined.

I entered 2008 feeling lost, sad, unmotivated, and unhealthy. I am leaving 2008 lighter, healthier, smoke free and motivated. Can I ask for a better start for 2009?