I took the garbage out early in 2009.
Things wern't working in my current dating situation, and it was time for me to be assertive, so I made my decision, and moved forward. I struggle with assertiveness, I also HATE confrontation in general! In my work, as a Psychiatric Nurse, I have learned skills to communicate with clients who have behavioral issues. However in my personal life, I still find it hard to say "No",being assertive, and telling someone if something bothers me.
I have been trying to change the way I deal with people, and I truly believe that people treat us the way we ALLOW them to treat us. How others treat us, and how they continue to treat us, is a reflection of our current self image/self respect.
I used to believe that someone should love me the "way I am". When I was 335lbs, how can I expect someone to love me the way I am, when I am unable to look at myself in the miror and love who I am? Self love is essental. Almost 50lbss into this, I have lost a good chunk (pun intended lol) and have gained so much in many other ways.
I truly am starting to figure out who Sarah is. I have felt that my identity with myself has been absent for so long, that i've missed out on so much as a result of my weight. I feel I have been limited not by only physical limitations, but more so by the limitations of my mind. The mind has so much power.
When it comes to dating and men, I really havn't been interested in dating through this journey, and have not been actively looking. The guy I was previously dating,was quite supportive of my weightloss, and sensitive to the topic, which was fantasitc. However, the emotional rollercoaster ride was sending me into a very unhappy state.
Simply said: I'd rather be happy alone, then unhappily with someone.
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