ASKING FOR HELP!

I've been thinking about all aspects of weight loss:Food, exercise, behavioral and support systems. I think all 4 are equally important, and will determine one's success in long term weight loss.

I am quite a independent woman, and I have always put more on my plate then I can handle (pun intended lol) Plain and simple, I don't like to ask for help-detest it really. I like to do it all on my own, but realize as great as this quality can be in personal development, it also works against me. I have worked 2 jobs and gone to school both full time and part time. I have sacrafised many aspects of my life to be where I am today. Unfortunately my health has suffered the most, being on the back burner, and coping skills for stress, turned to emotional eating.

Why do I do this? To prove to myself I can in fact do anything, and everything. In turn this acts against me, it adds added stress to the equation, and often unnecessary stress. Stress in turn leads to my uncontrollable urge to reach for foods that are not healthy, processed-sugar filled foods, due to the lack of postive coping skills. I have realized that this is a area I must address. More so, I realize this is a area I feel I need to reach out and ask for help.

I've decided to address all areas of my health including emotional, physical, support, and eating a balanced diet. I have asked for help, and not to my surprize help arrived! I've decided that counselling will be good for my mind, my soul to address issues from the past and present that I have struggled with. I've met with this woman, Cheryl yesterday and found how empowered I felt after our first session. Empowered to talk to this total stranger about all the good and bad that has occured in my life, and to set myself free of these emotional traps I am in.

Talking to her, I allowed myself to be vulnerable. I opened up my heart, and a used a whole lotta tissue!! lol I left feeling empowered, and emotionally tired, almost as if I ran a 100 miles, for those who don't know me, I couldn't run even 1 mile at this point lol.

Not only that, I have looked into joining weight watchers. Asking others around me how they have found the program, reading the material etc, researching-which those who know me, I love to do lol. I feel this will be a great supportive atmophere for me, and I will meet like minded people, with common goals, and hopefully surround myself with new people in my life.

Let's face it, loosing weight by myself, on my own would be wonderful! However, loosing weight and having "my team" of professionals and like minded people, will help make this journey much more enjoyable!

Lesson learned here: It's o.k to ask for help!

10 Secrets of Thin People!

This article caught my eye, and I thought I would share! Simple rules we already know that totally make sence.

I know personally, a lot of these "secrets" I have struggled with, through avoidance. One rule that particularly stands out is emotional eating. I have been aware with the emotional connection between overeating and my feelings. Unfortunately, have to be aware of this constantly, as it is a automatic habit.

Repeating actions thousands of times, becomes a habit; and habits become a way of life. I want to search deeper within myself, and look how I deal with emotions and overeating. Hopefully after a few thousand times lol, my reaction to emtions that I feel will be in a automatic "healthy" way of living.

1.They don't diet

Small amount of food on a plate or at least not in the traditional, all-or-nothing, deprivation sense of the word. "You need to get rid of that diet mentality and realize that what you are doing is making a permanent lifestyle change," says Anne Fletcher, M.S., R.D., author of the Thin for Life book series. She adds, "You do have to cut back on calories if you want to stay thin, but it's about reassessing what you eat and being more sensible in your choices, not about a quick-fix, crazy diet." Research has also shown that thin people tend to have a better quality diet than those who are overweight. They eat more fruits and vegetables and more fiber, and drink more water—all healthy things that provide more food volume for the number of calories.

2.They keep track of their weight

Thin people know how much they weigh, and they monitor that number by stepping on the scale frequently. It's not about a having an unhealthy fixation on that number on the scale, but it's a way to catch a 5-pound gain before it suddenly turns into a 20-pound gain. "Aim to keep your weight within a five-pound range, and if you see it go above that buffer zone, make sure you have an immediate plan of action for how to address it," suggests Fletcher.

3.They exercise regularly

"In my research, 9 out of 10 people who've lost weight and maintained it exercise regularly and make it a critical part of their lives," says Fletcher. Even if you've never been a fitness fanatic, it's not too late to get moving. Even taking a few 15-minute walks throughout the day will be a move in the right direction. Once you start to enjoy the mood-boosting and calorie-burning advantages of exercise, start looking for ways to keep your workouts interesting. Join a local gym and try a variety of classes and cardio machines, find friends to walk with, or experiment with at-home exercise DVDs.

4.They don't solve problems with

Almost everyone is guilty of occasionally drowning their sorrows in a pint of Ben & Jerry's or taking out frustration on a batch of brownies, but thin people definitely don't make it a habit. "They tend not to eat purely for emotional reasons," says Fletcher. When you are upset (or bored, lonely, frustrated or angry), she suggests asking yourself: Is food really going to solve the problem, or will it just end up making you feel worse after you finish eating? Chances are, the food won't fix what's bothering you, so it's important to come up with a list of other small pleasures you can turn to instead of food. Some ideas include going for a walk, watching a movie, calling a friend, playing with your kids, or taking a bubble bath.

5.They stop eating when they're full

Most thin people are not members of the clean-plate club. Instead of mindlessly eating however much they are served, they pay attention to internal hunger cues and satiety. "Thin people are tuned into noticing when they are satisfied, and they stop eating even if there is food left," says Jill Fleming, M.S., R.D., author of Thin People Don't Clean Their Plates (Inspiration Presentations Press, 2005). "They often report that they don't like that feeling of being uncomfortably full, so they've learned how to stop before they reach it."

6.They don't surround themselves with food

Rather than stocking the cupboards with junk food, thin people's kitchens tend to be filled with healthy foods. That doesn't mean you can never have any indulgences in the house, just that you shouldn't have so many that you're likely to overeat them. For example, if you love to bake, give most of your sweets away to friends, or have your kids bring them to school or soccer practice, leaving just a few behind to enjoy yourself.

7.They allow themselves treats

It's the opposite of the deprivation mentality that many overweight (but dieting) people espouse: Thin people let themselves eat what they crave, sometimes even indulging in a treat every day. "The difference is that they do it consciously, choosing exactly what they really want to eat and then eating slowly and enjoying it," says Fleming. So if it's chocolate you want, don't try to eat around the craving with an array of foods that don't really satisfy you. Instead, allow yourself to have a small but really delicious chocolate bar and put the craving to rest.

8.They eat breakfast

According to the National Weight Control Registry, which tracks the habits and strategies of more than 5,000 people who have maintained a significant weight loss, nearly 80 percent of these successful losers eat breakfast every single day. And most of their naturally lean counterparts do the same, and make sure that eat within about an hour of waking up. "Breakfast is literally breaking the fast of the night," says Fleming. "Until you send food into your system, your metabolism doesn't really start to kick in."

9.They move, stand and fidget

"Thin people are rarely sitting," says Fleming. Beyond their regular fitness routines, they simply move around more—and consequently burn more calories—throughout the day. And a study at the Mayo Clinic confirmed this: Researchers found that on average, a group of lean subjects sat for two hours a day less than the obese subjects, potentially burning up to 350 additional calories.

10.They don't skip meals

There are two problems with skipping meals—and thin people are careful not to fall prey to them. Going more than six hours without food will slow down your metabolism, plus you'll likely get so desperately hungry that you'll grab anything (as opposed to something healthy) and eat too much of it. "Thin people keep their gas tanks [i.e., their stomachs] between one-quarter and three-quarters full all the time," says Fleming. The best way to do that is to eat frequent mini-meals every three to four hours.

I REFUSE to give up! Motivation and Planning.....

Here I am October 2008. I pictured myself in a much different place right now, as well as sitting in a much smaller pair of pants *sigh* but I won't beat myself up, I am here, and I am NOT ready to give up!

Today the scale said 309Lbs. I was happy about this for the most part. Your probably shaking your head in disbelief as I say that I am happy to see 309 on the scale, but you will soon understand.

I have been lacking on my blogging lately, lacking on myself really. I havn't been sticking to my plan, I havn't been committed to my exersize plan, I have been struggling. Motivation ran out quicker then I thought. I don't believe that motivation in itself is what makes one loose weight and keep it off. I do believe however planning is, combined with motivation. Motivation is what makes us excited to do something, to have the hope, the positive attitude to want to do something, it initates change, but doesn't enforce it. Along with motivation there is determination, and through this, ie. planning, I believe there is success.

"He who fails to plan, plans to fail"

I am determined not to give up. I am not giving up on me. I refuse to. 309 is better then 330. 21 lbs of new habits, new lessons have been learned. What I am saying to myself today, is I refuse to be over 309 again, I refuse to allow myself to get past this.

So how will I do this? Planning! I have to stay focused and continue to plan meals, preperation etc. I have to continue to add exersize to my routine, and set new habits, and goals for myself. I have to use this motivation I have, along with my determination, and plan for the future.

I have a trip that I want to attend next June, and I have goals to set for myself for then. I am excited to see Europe, and I refuse to let myself miss out on living life anymore. I am NOT giving up!

I AM ME

“I am Me. In all the world, there is no one else exactly like me. Everything that comes out of me is authentically mine, because I alone chose it — I own everything about me: my body, my feelings, my mouth, my voice, all my actions, whether they be to others or myself. I own my fantasies, my dreams, my hopes, my fears. I own my triumphs and successes, all my failures and mistakes.

Because I own all of me, I can become intimately acquainted with me. By so doing, I can love me and be friendly with all my parts. I know there are aspects about myself that puzzle me, and other aspects that I do not know — but as long as I am friendly and loving to myself, I can courageously and hopefully look for solutions to the puzzles and ways to find out more about me.

However I look and sound, whatever I say and do, and whatever I think and feel at a given moment in time is authentically me. If later some parts of how I looked, sounded, thought, and felt turn out to be unfitting, I can discard that which is unfitting, keep the rest, and invent something new for that which I discarded. I can see, hear, feel, think, say, and do. I have the tools to survive, to be close to others, to be productive, and to make sense and order out of the world of people and things outside of me.

I own me, and therefore, I can engineer me. I am me, and I am Okay.”
Denis2005 Virginia Satir quotes (American Phychologist and Educator, 1916-1988)

MONTH 1 RESULTS!

Well, the results are in!

I lost 8lbs this month, and I feel great :) There are a lot of changes I know I could make, mostly increasing the exercise! But all and all I am happy with the results, and how much I have lost this month :) WOOO HOO!!!

Here's to month 2!!

Processed Foods & Junk Foods: The Enemies!!!! My Solution...Personal Receipe Book!

Hi my name is Sarah, and I am addicted to processed/junk foods. Yes I admit I have/had a serious problem. Yes, I used to shop in the isles of the grocery store for most of my food products, instead of around the parameter of the store where all the "healthy" choices are. This year alone I couldn't tell you how much healthy food I have wasted by throwing it out as it has spoiled (yes many bags of salad).


Working as a Nurse, you would think I would know to make healthier choices with the foods I eat. As a student I remember making a lot of really "convenient" choices of foods that I would eat because of lack of time, stress and convience. Some of my processed enemies included: crackers, cookies, chocolate, popcorn and real butter, frozen dinners, canned foods. Junk food has also been a problem for me as well the last approximately 6 years eating foods like timbits, candy, chocolate bars, anything really! There was a time in my life I remember a few years back thinking "I don't know when I ate REAL food last." My days were made up of convience foods and a lot of McDonald's, and Pizza.


I know it will take sometime before my taste buds change and I start to really crave REAL food, but I am already noticing a big difference. I try to grocery shop much differently now, as well as not eat out at fast food restarunts or resteraunts in general at this point. I want to gain control on what I put into my body.


I find it very difficult and continue to struggle with processed foods/high sugar content foods, they indeed are my enemy. Finding what foods keep me fuller longer, is something I have to invest more time in. REAL food seems much more appealing to me then those processed high sugar foods, but I won't lie-I still struggle with this.

My solution for this.....My own cookbook! It was like a eureka moment for me tonight. I think this will be beneficial to have recepies printed out under each meal category: Breakfast, Lunch, Dinner, as well as healthy snack options. I find I am limited, and often repeat meals, which over time isn't so appealing! I also think trying to make something new each week, will keep me eating healthy foods, which will fill up my personal recipe book.


Looking forward to try out new receipes, as well as customize my food menu, why didn't I think of this years ago?

WEEK 2: Salad Time!

June 8-June15, 2008

Week 2 has been a interesting week. First off, I have had a big salad every day for dinner for the most part. This is huge! I can't think of the last time prior to these past few weeks that I have made myself a salad, must have been at least 3 months ago. Funny thing is, in the past 2 weeks I have probably ate more salads then I have in 2007, which is VERY VERY sad! lol

Good news though, I like them now!. Last week I started with adding croutons, different low calorie dressings, and spicing chicken up different ways. One way I really enjoy the chicken done is baked in the oven in strips using Thai peanut powder on them. One package is almost 200 calories, and i try to do 3 chicken breasts lightly coated in the yummy peanuty powder. Yum Yum! However, the extra calories add up, and I am sure I can find a better way to spice up my chicken-low cal style!.

Another huge accomplish on the salad news, is that tonight's salad did not involve any meat! It was actually pretty good. If anyone has any recipes for low cal salads, with or without meat, I'd appreciate it!

Working out this week has been difficult at times. This week i have been working nights again, and worked 3-12 hour nights Wed, Thurs, Friday. Gotta love nursing! So I am eating at all different hours of the night, and things can get a bit tricky. Typically I try to wake up before 4:00pm if I can, or 4 the latest. I eat "breakfast" which is usually more of a lunch type meal. Then I pack a dinner and snacks because come 11pm I am STARVING! I should probably try to incorporate a light snack if possible before then to hold me over, difficult though working in a hospital sometimes.

Every day I am feeling healthier and healthier. I am starting to notice the "top bulge" shrinking somewhat. My hospital pants are feeling a bit better on me as well. Also without binging I wake up without a sore stomach, or that bloating feeling. I don't miss that one bit. Often, I would eat a large portion of "whatever" before I would go to bed. For instance a bag of low cal popcorn with melted butter on it, and i mean the whole bag :) Sometimes I would stop in at a convience store to buy chips, and overindulge.

Exercise has been tricky for me this week, and I have only managed to get out to the gym 2 times. Night shifts are not my thing, esp 2 weeks of 12 hour nights. I do get a few days off in between some shifts, but it's difficult to change over my sleep patterns I have to say. I am however on a new schedule which I hope to start in the next few weeks. 2 days, 2 nights, 5 off. For all you shift workers out there, you know that this schedule is a ideal one! I do hope this makes a big difference in my energy level.

I do have to say though, I am extreamly happy to be half way through the month, and halfway at my goal for the month. I am continuously learning about myself, what I like, what I don't. Looking up new recipes etc. I have to also look at the fact that I have officially dropped 5 lbs, and at 3,500 calories per pound, I've managed to cut, and work off17,500 calories! That is huge!!!

WEEK 1: POUNDS LOST 4LBS

Week 1: June 1-June 8, 2008

It just so happened to be the start of the month when I made the commitment to myself, to change myself physically and emotionally. No it's not a Monday, it actually happened to be a Sunday for a matter of fact! lol

I have been contemplating in my mind for years it has seemed, but until recently (I mean a few months ago), something finally clicked. Almost like a light bulb in my head going off "Eureka!". It was the day I said to myself, that "I no longer want to live this way. I have missed out on so much life, and so much living." I remember that moment, and reflected back in the last 6 years specifically, how much I have given up, and how much of life I haven't lived because of my weight and the emotions attached to my weight. I made the decision June 1/08 that life will no longer be like this for me, and that it doesn't have to. I can change it, and I will!.

So here it is. Week 1: The Start

Some goals I had for myself t his week were the following.

1. Eat approximately 1700-2,000 calories a day.
2. Avoid binge eating. Become aware of patterns or cravings.
3. Exercise! Elliptical Glider and Walking to start.
4. Avoid temptations of eating out.
5. Find new recipes and foods to eat, and have fun with it!
6. Try to incorporate new exercises to try in the future.


Making all these changes has been a eye opener. Instead of avoiding anything fitness, like programs on television, or magazines, or topics with friends. I have been quite opposite, and have been putting all my attention into fitness/healthy eating, and NOT AVOIDING!. I worked out 4x's, doing the elliptical between 30-40minutes. I worked out with a friend at the gym, made a healthy dinner, and have been conscious into what I have been putting into my body. There were struggles to keep on track that is for sure, and many opportunities to go out for dinner/lunches, which I am trying to stay away from as I am trying to stay closely to my diet, and meals I have prepared. I actually enjoy salad!! That in itself is a miracle! I have been playing around with different leafy greens and found that I really enjoy salad topped with some chicken, very good. I have been using a light cucumber dressing 20 cal a tablespoon and eating approx 4 cups of salad at dinner with a chicken breast or 1.5 chicken breasts on top. Very filling. I have been struggling with hunger though, and I do want to make sure I balance my meals out so I feel fuller for longer, so I am trying new ideas with that. Also I am drinking plenty of water as not only was the temperature hot outside, but I want to make sure I am well hydrated, and not causing unnecessary hunger pains, from being dehydrated.

I have looked into different options for exercise and at this point I have come up with a few ideas. Firstly, I find low impact exercises great right now. I can sure work up a sweat but, they aren't taking a toll on my joints! I love the elliptical, and walking. I have been walking to work on several occasions, but I didn't walk this week. I have been sticking to the gym mainly, as the thought of walking in almost 40 degree weather doesn't sound appealing at this time.

I have printed off maps of trails in my city that I would like to explore and walk. I have found one that is, quite beautiful near the water which I enjoy walking. I love listening to nature, as I walk the trail at RIM park, and can hear the water. So peaceful. I want to explore other trails. I find walking a great time to reflect, and great for my mind and body. Plain and simple, it makes me feel good!.

I have also decided that I will do some walks for causes, such as the Terry Fox 10k walk and Minds in Motions 10k Walk. These walk-a-thons are not until September, but this will give me ample time to improve my fitness level. As it is now, if I walk to and from work it is almost 9km! So I know I will have no difficulties there.

I've had some difficulties, one was around chocolate, so I'll confess. I bought a rittersport, and ate almost the whole thing lol. I threw out some of it at the end, angered by my choice to buy it. Anyhow that makes me laugh really, it is my fat cells and hormones against me...and they won! All I can say is I need to pay closer attention to possible binges etc in the future, as this could have been a lot more worse then what it was!!

Overall, I lost 4lbs, I am extremely happy with that, even if it is part water weight!! I went down to 311 from 315, so I am happy!!!

Every week I hope to learn more and more about myself, and what works and what doesn't. If you have any suggestions, I would love to hear what works for you as well!! All I know is I trust my gut, and i don't mean literally! lol I trust my inner self in a lot of different areas in my life, and I should apply it to weight loss too. If it makes me feel good, then I know I am on the right track!

Here's to week 2!

The Beginning

Just like any story there is a beginning, middle and end. This is the beginning. I have decided today that I will change my destiny. I want to live a different life, a healthier life, and most importantly: I want to change. This site will provide me with some inspiration to reach my small goals and milestones in this weight loss journey. I have been wanting to change for sometime now, and I am ready. I hope through blogging that I will be able to uncover and rediscover myself. I also hope that one day that I will inspire others in their own weight loss journey.

This is my story, one blog at a time.....

Weight has always been a struggle for me, for as long as I can remember. Today I weigh 311 lbs. At 5’8 that is defined as morbidly obese, actually anything over 180lbs at my height is morbidly obese! I don’t want to be labeled or categorized as this, and “morbid” let’s face it sounds “morbid” lol.

More importantly, I’ve realized more then ever, just how much of life I have missed out on because of my weight, and the feelings that are associated with it. Feelings of guilt, shame, embarrassment, anger towards myself for allowing myself to get to this point. So, how did I get here? Well here is my story....

I have aloud myself to get to this point by denial and avoidance. I have made excuses by putting people and things before myself, and fixing my health. I have been in denial for sometime now, and have been over the 300lb mark for over 3 years now, at my highest 330lb. Shocking.

I remember when I was about 16 years old, and at that time I weighed around 240lbs, my heaviest at that time, promising myself never to hit that number again nor see it. I lost a modest 65 lbs, and was in the low 170's for graduation, by eating right and exercising. I worked hard to look good for my high school graduation, and I did look great, I felt great too! So how did I gain back those 65lbs and and almost another 100lb afterwards? YIKES!

I know now, I have a lot of avoidance techniques, and over the years I have mastered them! Avoidance techniques such as, not looking in the mirror, or not looking at my naked body, avoiding my reflection in windows and shadows. I avoided. I didn't want to know that I was out of control, and I didn't want to see myself, the way I truly was. Slowly in time, I have seen how it has impacted my life in many ways. Avoiding family get togethers, binge eating, avoiding activities such as walking/gym and being more sedentary in general. I also avoided going to social events with friends, or family knowing what a shocker my weight gain would be, and how ugly I would feel, how ashamed I would feel for the way I look. So I avoided. Avoided allot! 160lbs of avoidance!!

I have come to the realization the past few months, just how much of life I have missed out of, because of my weight and because of the emotions that go with carrying this extra weight. I don't want to loose out on "living" anymore, I refuse to. Today I am 311 lbs, I have accepted this. I have also accepted that I want to change, for me. I also have accepted that this may take some time, and here is the shocker....I won't be skinny tomorrow :O LOL. It took me many years to get to this point, and I am sure it will take some time to get where I feel and look "healthy."

I am prepared for this journey to transform my mind body and soul. I am ready to make to the changes that will enable me to meet my weight loss goals, and to find exercises that I actually "enjoy" somewhat lol. I am prepared to have fun with this along the way, and to learn more from myself then I ever have! I hope you will enjoy reading about my story, and I hope by opening up through blogging I will have inspired just one person. This is my journey. This is my beginning.

Quote:
"Nothing changes, if nothing changes" unknown.